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A!0N3

The original post with this title has been removed by our moderator. It did not follow our guidelines and meet our bottom line. Which is to help others. You, the reader, deserve better. You deserve positive solutions to problems we all face. A guiding light if you will. My job is to be a beacon for the soul. Given the chance to prove myself, I hope to become something more to you.

DATE: Tuesday, September 20, 2022

TIME: Too early or too late?

LUNAR COORDINATES: 32.82° S, 8.88° W

WELCOME2HELL

You may say that I once had it all. Married, with two beautiful young souls, a partner…cats, dogs, etc. Everything except for the white picket fence.

I was there for the kids in the AM, PM and all the M’s in between. Sunday dinners. Family night playing board games. Someone to snuggle down with and keep warm as the night chased the residual heat away.

I was proud to be a family man.

I had told myself even if I had failed at everything else, as long as I was a great father then that was all that mattered.

I HAD IT ALL.

Now, my nights are accompanied by different…things.

Darkness. Despair. Desolation.

And that’s just the D’s.

We’re not even going to try to dive into any of the other 25 letters of the alphabet. Can’t take that right now.

Photo by Tomu00e9 Louro on Pexels.com

My nights as of late consist of finding somewhere to chill for a few hours before finally being forced to go home. Alone. With numerous housing issues taking over.

And the clock ticking..

Not my happy place.

And I can’t stop that damn clock from ticking..

Photo by Oladimeji Ajegbile on Pexels.com

So Three, if your home is not your happy place…where could it be?

With my kids.

Photo by Alexander Grey on Pexels.com

When I am with them, I come alive.

My beautiful kids.

When I am not with them I am a lost soul.

Wandering aimlessly stuck in purgatory and trying hard to figure out a way out of this story.

I can hear it.

The silence.

The lack of sound.

The lack of soul.

Alone I feel. Fuck it was my original appeal.

Photo by EKATERINA BOLOVTSOVA on Pexels.com

But We have to maintain control.

We have to save our souls.

Send out an S.O.S. if you will.

Three fast dots, followed by three dashes and then an additional three fast dots.

Keep it up until you get a response.

It is paramount.

Photo by Lukas on Pexels.com

We all may seem alone at times. As if no one else could relate.

What we need to remember is that we are never alone.

Someone is there waiting..

…and ready to help you out.

REMEMBER THAT

Ekahs yekahs…hcnarb evilO.

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Highly Suspect
Featured

What’s So Civil About War Anyway?

E x t e n d e d R e a c h P r o d u c t i o n s

p r e s e n t s . . .

What we’ve got here is…failure to communicate.

Strother Martin, Cool Hand Luke

Some men, you just can’t reach. 

So, you get what we had here, last week.

Which is the way he wants it

well, he gets it.

I don’t like this any more than you men.

What’s so civil about war, anyways?

Look at your young men fighting

NYT.com

Look at your women crying

CNN.com

Look at your young men dying

MilitaryImages.net

The Way They’ve Always Done Before

What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or in the holy name of liberty or democracy?

Mahatma Gandhi
Insider.com
Residents of Kyiv with Sich Battalion volunteers on 26 August 2014

Look at the hate we’re breeding

Look at the fear we’re feeding

NYTimes.com

Look at the lives we’re leading

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The Way We’ve Always Done Before

From Britannica.com:

Did I miss any?

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While that is an extensive list I’m sure more than a few were left out. If you know of any then please, feel free to let me know. After all, we are searching for the truth. History has a way of letting events fade into the fog of uncertainty while others are given the spotlight and a promise of eternity.

What I’m wondering is who’s holding the spotlight?

And whether we need to make an adjustment.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
And history hides the lies of our civil wars

Without doing a deep dive into any event in particular, my biggest takeaway from that list was that we Humans have been at war for a long time. War has paved the way for Humanity to release their primal instincts and tear down our future’s past revealing our present state. War is an ill effect of mankind accompanied with symptoms of death, destruction and demise. We, as a species, need to take a step back and reevaluate what we are doing. And work together for a better future.

Fast forward to 2022. Ukraine’s still fighting for their freedom. The world watches but hesitates to aid them. And Russia continues to advance.

Taiwan waits in silence. China watches the progress. The world holds their breath in protest and I continue to digress.

What can we do?

First, education must be key. We must teach one another about life, compassion and the perils of war. We must enlighten ourselves to more efficient means of altering the streamline than picking up a weapon of choice and bludgeoning our enemy. Shouldn’t peace have a chance? Shouldn’t we find a way to work together towards common goals? With different cultures and beliefs I can understand the obstacles however we should take advantage of the fact that we still have time to make a difference. Right now, our biggest obstacle is ourselves. While novel viruses have managed to distract us, we still continue to let our primitive thinking to take over.

It’s almost as if Humankind needs a common enemy.

Pray tell we don’t get that anytime soon. While we’re fighting amongst ourselves we still have an opportunity to change. Given a common threat that pushes us from the top of the chain would be catastrophic.

We don’t have that yet, but we will. It’s only a matter of time before someone responds to our inter-galactic air drop of the movie “The Day The Earth Stood Still” beamed out to local residents of Alpha Centauri in December of 2008.

Maybe they’ll just stand on the corner of the intersection of Woodhaven Boulevard and Jamaica Avenue in the Woodhaven section of Queens to protest our portrayal of other beings visiting Earth.

Or maybe they’ll blast us from the heavens and take care of all of our differences. Either way, know that there are greater things at stake and we need to figure out our differences fast.

What Can You Do To Make A Difference?

M3g@Tr0n
Featured

| TUNNELVISION |

…an Extended Reach production.

Initiate oldSchool Dark Dubstep | Deep Rolling Mix

Fast forward to seven minutes in.

That’s Where I’m At
Oh benevolent soul, please consider the possibilities.

Why do we do what we do?

What drives your ambitions? Is it from desire, motivation or revenge?

Whatever fuels your fire, know this my friend.

You are part of a bigger picture.

Photo by Cameron Casey on Pexels.com

Your actions definitely affect others.

Whether in a positive or negative way. It affects them.

The freaking butterfly-effect man. And it’s on its way back around again.

Photo by Egor Kamelev on Pexels.com

And it’s on its way back around again.

Yet you are just a caterpillar so there is still time to make things better.

We See You.

We Hear You.

I feel you.

Photo by Jacek Jan Skorupski on Pexels.com

Think about it.

Look around and don’t forget to breathe too.

Sometimes a few minutes of breath control could do wonders, if you only knew.

Do you really want to continue down your path?

Do you really want to do what you want to do?

Photo by James Wheeler on Pexels.com

ThiNk aBout It

You’re in control right now. Use it to your advantage. Take a minute to consider the alternatives and how..

.in a multi-verse of possibilities should you proceed with <enter action, thought, whateverthefaulk>…?

Photo by Ike louie Natividad on Pexels.com

Should you do this?

Should you continue with this ignorant bliss?

Should you let things run as is and not get too involved with?

Your actions affect others. How could they not?

Your thoughts manifest into actions. How could they not?

How could they not?

Photo by Mariana Montrazi on Pexels.com

How Could They Not?

Want to make a change? There’s more than one way to ensure the end-game.

How about writing a letter of concern to your local authorities? Need a name…lmk. I could point you in the right direction even though…

..I’m not near you.

However I hear you?

Life can be complicated?

Shit, that statement can be over-rated.

Photo by Kampus Production on Pexels.com

Need to talk to someone? Oh no…it’s quarter to one.

That’s ok…dial 988 and you’ll reach someone.

Or text “Home” to 741741.

I’ll give you a moment while you make the decision.

I’ll give you a moment while you figure out what really matters and when…

..you should make a change.

Photo by Thirdman on Pexels.com

Remember the end-game?

I GET IT.

Yo unee dhel p.

No judgement here.

How can I help?

Lima Mike Kilo.

ASAP.

Let’s work on this shit together.

If you need help. If you feel alone. Contact me. I push the olive branch once again in hopes that whatever knowledge/experience/influence I have can help thee.

Feel free to reach out to me…I can listen, conduct research on the best resources to point you to or whatever.

Ther eis alw ays someo neava ilabl e tospe ak with.

#mentalhealthawareness

Did I grab your attention?

Someone that cares

If you are experiencing a crisis and need immediate assistance please call or text

988

I tested it, you reach a live person. Another soul that cares and can help in a time of need.

Do not wait to call.

Remember, your actions affect others. You have people that care about you. You are NEVER alone.

Photo by Alex Green on Pexels.com

Need to check Waze again.

Featured

What Inspires You?

So many thoughts transferred to the digital realm but never published. Never released from their barriers and posted to the world.

Photo by Kyle Loftus on Pexels.com

So many entries driven by inspiration and a sic dubstep mix with slow drops that not only captures your attention but sends you spiraling into an almost trance-like state of creativity.

My goodness, this shit definitely triggers some mental switch that once flipped on…releases a universe of possibilities.

A multi-verse..

If music is a universal language, then dubstep is humanity’s warcry.

Yours Truly.
Image found on WallPaperCave.com

Again…you can quote me on that. Oh wait…we did.

I can’t explain it. I just feel it. When listening to this type of music I can feel …energy surging through me. Inspiration immediately sets in and I’m hooked. I can’t explain it.

Posting, however, is another story entirely.

Let’s do a little research.

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Pray tell, Dr. Watson.

It’s elementary, really. As LA Weekly so elegantly put it…dubstep makes us “loose our fucking minds”.

Like no joke.

Is it the bass? Or because its beat is fast-paced? As I try to keep this research to a bare minimum…the more I learn the more I get drawn in. Like I’m suffering from spaghettification as I reach Messier 87’s event horizon.

And no fork.

Only a spoon to be found. Slowly sliding into oblivion as we circle around and around.

As much as I try to escape, I find that I cannot leave. I find that I am in control as much as I am led to believe.

Courtesy of ArtStation.com

According to ProMusicianHub.com, a typical dubstep track contains a rhythm of 138 – 142 beats per minute. But Three..is it just dubstep that gets our hearts racing and sets our minds free?

No, random internet stranger. No, it is not.

Photo by Alexander Krivitskiy on Pexels.com

Let’s explore..

For example, the song “A Lot” by 21 Savage has 146 beats per minute (bpm). Just heard it for the first time while doing research for this post and enjoyed it very much. The tempo kept me hooked, the lyrics got me thinking and I found myself paying closer attention to what he was saying.

Let’s change stations for a sec..

The song “The Kind Of Love We Make” by Luke Combs has a bpm of 102. While it’s tempo is a tad bit slower than “A Lot” it still captured my attention. However had to stop that song real quick as it triggered feelings of sadness.

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

Feelings and memories associated with my ex-wife. Don’t even get me started.

So here we are.

Analyzing why music gets my heart racing at 0310 hrs.

So we are here.

So are we here?

I don’t know…just wrote a lot of great stuff and for some reason it didn’t save. Lost it all. Gone into oblivion. Ate up by M87 and never to return again.

Pucking aggravating.

Which, after all of this brief research…leads me to the following question.

What de-motivates us?

Signing off.

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Featured

What is it about connection?

“When you have once seen the glow of happiness on the face of a beloved person, you know that a man can have no vocation but to awaken that light on the faces surrounding him. In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”

― Albert Camus
Photo by Darrel Und on Pexels.com

What is it about connection? I mean, why is connecting with another so important?

Why do we, as sentient beings need to feel close to another? I mean, we’re capable of taking on life on our own. But yet our hearts yearn to be touched.

Our souls long to feel connected to another.

Photo by Rodrigo Souza on Pexels.com

According to Psychcentral.com, connecting with another helps such as boosting mood, reducing stress, and improving self-esteem.

It makes us feel better.

Photo by William Fortunato on Pexels.com

Can’t argue with that.

Hold on, there’s more.

“..A 2018 study led by researchers with the American Cancer Society (ACS) examined data from more than 580,000 adults and found that social isolation can contribute to depression, insomnia, and cognitive decline.”

Wait…what?

Photo by Pavel Danilyuk on Pexels.com

I’m a loner at heart…so is that the reason why I’m depressed, I can’t sleep sometimes and I don’t know what is going on?

I mean, look at our status quo and tell me we’ll be all right.

It’s 2022 and we’re on edge because of Covid, on-going wars with fingers hovering over the fuck-everything button and humanity on a steady decline.

We need an intervention.

Like meow.

“The world is so empty if one thinks only of mountains, rivers & cities; but to know someone who thinks & feels with us, & who, though distant, is close to us in spirit, this makes the earth for us an inhabited garden.”

― Goethe

And yet, here we are.

Life can be intimidating. Overwhelming. Can make us feel alone in the middle of a crowd. Yet, when we meet a kindred soul our hearts ignite with pleasure. Set ablaze with passion. Yearning to know more of this person. Of this soul that has wandered upon your path.

Tell me that when this spark is lit you don’t feel thousands of hopes, dreams, fears and aspirations racing through you at Mach 2??

No??

Must be me then?

Whatever it is…it’s real. And scary. And enticing.

All at the same time.

Connection is the glue that keeps our souls intact.

Quote me on that.

With a bajillion people on this earth, odds are that there’s someone for you.

Someone to be there.

And sometimes, that’s all we need.

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Featured

Through the storm (a.k.a. forgot to put on the blinker…oops)

Sometimes it’s hard to see through the storm. Whether it be a hurricane or even a mild drizzle, our vision can get clouded just the same. Then we find ourselves ramping up the wipers, turning on the foglights and looking for that yellow stripe on the side of the road to use as a guide. Hoping that you don’t hit an area that flooded over or you don’t end up hydroplaning off the side of the road. Stress level just increased one point writing this lol.

Where was I?

Sometimes the storm was so bad that I engaged the emergency blinkers, pulled over to the break lane and dared forward. Slowly. 10 and freaking 2. Yes, I’m that guy.

But you know what? I made it.

And so can you.

Not even sure atm where I’m going with this. Break time. Brb.

Turn the volume up just a tad. Close eyes and feel the energy from the dubstep you have piping through your speakers. Sorry Cable, dubstep will never die. Ever.

Ever.

And neither should your spirit. Your motivation. Your driving force that propels you through the space/time continuum. That speed force that is everywhere and everything. This is one gift that no one can take from you. All you have to do is figure out what motivates you. What gets that spark going. Is it the thought of your family? Your kids? Your career? It doesn’t even need to be that deep; your muse can take many forms.

Let’s get a little personal for a moment. Have you ever conversed with another and during that exchange something they said sparked your interest? Now that the kindle is burning and you’re steadily supplying that flame with a little oxygen you’re getting somewhere. You know you are supposed to be finishing those TCP reports before end of duty however you’re more focused on keeping that fire going. Feeding your curiosity with internet research, your medium ice coffee within reach and that little USB fan on full speed. And Cheetos.

It ain’t easy…

Need to check Waze again; we seem to have gone way off track.

Avoid toll roads.

Yes, avoid difficult intersections. .

Choose voice of Gideon…o…freaking…m…g. Yes. Yes.

Sorry, let me play around with this setting for a minute. Be back in a flash.

Just thought of something. What did one fruit say to another as it was being chased?

Wait for it.

Wait. . .

Ready?

Run, berry, RUN!!!!

My goodness, that’s going to cost me the two people that have actually started reading my rantings.

Let me try to regain some dignity.

Scrolling up to see what I was typing about. Oh, right. One post was on depression, another on dreams…shall we keep this linear in a sense? We’ve weathered the storm and are reducing our wipers to smedium. And thank goodness they’re not the type that cross together because that would consistently make me worried they’re going to crash into one another. Why? Why?

Let’s recap.

Driving when I’m actually typing about dealing with stress/depression/coping. Motivation, muse…how creativity blossoms when multiple minds merge into meaningful discussion. (Beat that Treach!!!)

It’s amazing how much music can influence your mind, spirit and motivation.

Truly the universal language.

Instead of sending Aricebo messages to global star cluster M13 we should be sending a digital mix-tape of Skrillex’s eses esess greatest hits. Anyone else agree?

Esessses.

May delete this post in near future. Essessesss.

Recently watched Deadpool 2 for first, second and third time. Not condoning or using it as an excuse but may explain the constant attempts at humor.

Whatever motivates you, get it. Make it happen. Don’t wait for someone to make it happen for you. You. Need. To. Make it happen.

Use that motivation to fuel your desire to improve your life. Use that drive to implement real-life actions that produce real-life rewards. No one’s going to wash those dishes for you. No one’s going to get that dream-house but you.

You have the power.

And remember, with great power comes great resposibility.

Use it wisely.

And Tobey totally clear (see what I did there?), it’s not going to be easy.

At all. But you’re a mean, green fighting machine. And you can shred through whatever obstacle unfortunately gets in your way. Just be cautious not to get a splinter through all of your shredding. Maybe wear gloves. And stay cool as ice. Maintain focus. And watch your six.

Photo by Garvin St. Villier on Pexels.com
Featured

Silver Lining

I get it. You feel alone. Like you’re treading water and need a lifebuoy thrown your way.

There’s help available. No matter how the situation may seem, there is help available when you need it. Just need to know where to look.

Let’s consolidate the information and provide a life-line for those that may need it.

I recently was presented with the opportunity to call for help. Sometimes we just need it. Pride aside and all that jazz….we all need help at one point or another.

And it helps to have resources available at the whim and yes…even having the opportunity to actually speak with a live person can help dramatically.

No shame in my game. And I whole-heartedly wish to share any knowledge I can that can help another.

Let me be a beacon.

And shine the light on what can seem like a dark, impossible situation.

You, my friend, are not alone.

Depression can be a bitch. Excuse my old English. I know, I’ve been there. It can be dark, isolating and yes. Very freaking real.

You may think you are alone. That is false. You are not. That’s very important to remember. Think about it. Of a world consisting of…what, 7+ billion approiximately 3.8% suffer from depression. Grab your calculator. So 3.8% of (as of this moment) 7.96 billion equals to…302480000 people. Let’s now add in the commas…which make it 302,480,000 million individuals on this earth suffering from depression. That’s a lot of people that are dealing with shit and could use help.

That’s also a really big number and let’s me know that I’m not alone.

That’s critical. You are not alone. No matter how bad your situation may seem, there’s always. Always got to be a silver lining. Remember that. Just let it shine through.

Let’s help make a change. Even if it’s just with one person; it’s worth it.

If you are struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts then please reach out for help.

In the contacts section of this page I’ve compiled a list of numbers that could help. Once I figure out how to link that page here I’ll do so to make it easier. For now, know that there is help available. And there are human beings waiting on the other side that can help you. Compassion is not dead.

Let’s work together to ensure that mental health gets the spotlight that it deserves. No, it’s not a bad thing. It is not a stigma. We all have our issues and there are ways to deal with it. If bringing together contact information for various resouces helps even one person, than IT WAS WORTH IT.

If you need help contacting someone, I’m extending an olive branch out to you. Reach out to me if anything and I’ll do my best to point you in the right direction.

You are not alone.

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Featured

What Dreams May Come

What are dreams? Are they memories, visions, glimpses into alternate realities or just an attempt to process collected data? None of the above or a bit of everything? According to the National Sleep Foundation, an average person dreams four to six times per night. Do you remember your dreams? I typically remember at least one. And they are quite a trip.

Photo by Elu012bna Aru0101ja on Pexels.com

Humankind has always been fascinated with dreams. Countless research has been conducted in an attempt to understand the who, what, when, where and why. Who can dream? What makes us dream? When do our dreams occur? Where does our dreams take us? And…yes. Sometimes why?

Let’s look at the who. We homo sapiens dream. We all know dogs dream as well lol. I’m sure there’s more than a few of us who have been startled awake by our yellow lab Daisy kicking and whimpering in her sleep. I wonder what other animals dream. Do axolotls also dream of FNAF robotics creeping on you in the dark? Asking for a friend…

What causes us to dream? So after doing very brief research and taking a stroll down Ghost Train Haze Lane I discovered that dreams typically occur during R.E.M. Like the band you may ask? Yes, I do. Losing my religion and man in the moon are classics…yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sorry.

So apparently, like the band, R.E.M. stands for rapid eye movement. This stage of sleeping usually occurs an hour to an hour and a half after falling asleep. So that means I’m typically flying like Neo at around 3:30 in the morning; although I have yet to obtain flights faster than a DJI Maverick 3 and that’s only if my arms are extended forward like Kal-El (Sorry Bruce!).

Courtesy of Nonsequiteuse

Throughout the dark night, your body typically goes through multiple stages of non-R.E.M. and R.E.M. sleep. According to Cleveland Clinic, non-R.E.M. happens first and consists of three stages; the last two of which are where you sleep deeply. An hour to an hour and a half later, in comes vivid dreaming. Pray to Morpheus that it includes teleportation abilities with remote viewing and the ability to fly. And Predator vision. Fingers crossed.

So there you are, flying through the troposphere ingesting countless microorganisms as you try to get a grip on the fact that you’re actually flying. Like legit 12 miles up racing to save the day while wearing your underwear outside of your pants. This is the stage where it is believed that if you were to realize that you were dreaming…you would be able to control the dream. Imagine the possibilities.

The richest duck in the world. . .

Let’s change lanes for a second.

And (here’s a slight elbow to the side), let’s freewright.

3.

2.

1.

Go.

Run, Barry, RUN!!!

Imagine if you dreamnt of a situation where conscripts were drafted due to an unforeseeable contingency. You. Were. One of those conscripts. And there was a T-14 Armata looking right at you. A vision like that could plant caution within the mind that could potentially grow into a decision that alters a current reality and sends the streamline ricocheting through the space-time continuum.

Fragments of reality racing through your mind. Past. Present. Future? All that you’ve seen and all that you could see. And you’re able to control it.

Yes, I’ve experienced a few of those. And they are amazing.

Now, I probably sound like I need an XL straight-jacet and more than a few pillows on the wall. IDC. Like SARS-CoV-2, this needs to be placed back under the microscope and reevaluated.

Just not right now though. Throwing back a few, chatting with Mary and downing Juggernod atm. Send me your thoughts if you wish. Or tips on controlling vivid dreams. Or experiences/dreams/visions/etc that you’ve experienced. Or whether you would like me to continue elaborating on the who, what, when, where and why. Would love to hear your thoughts.

Until then…may the Speed Force be with you.

Reflections

It’s been over a year now since I’ve started this journey, and through it all I stand a humbled man. 

I see now.  How things can change…how life can take you for a ride and end up leaving you miles away.  How you can go from having everything and nothing…to having nothing and everything…all at once.       

I was walking around dead inside…like many of us do.  Impervious to the world as I continued to withdraw, watching everything fade away little by little. 

The darkness was welcoming.  Enveloping.  Overtaking and consuming. 

However it left me grasping for light.

Reaching out blindly, feeling my way around my life and hoping to find answers. Answers to questions old and new as well as ones I didn’t even know I was asking yet.   Who am I?  What am I doing?  Where am I going?  The whole schebang.  Through all of this soul-searching I found one thought that wouldn’t leave me alone.  That I was alone.

Any of this sound familiar?  If so, do you need help?

YES

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, an estimated 21 million adults in the United States suffered at lest one major depressive episode in 2020. Were you one of them?

It may not be easy to admit, I’ll admit. I suffered from depression. Hello… My name is human.

At times I’ve felt that I was all alone, despite being surrounded by others.  At times I felt I wasn’t in my place, even though I was at home under the covers.  At times I’ve felt I wasn’t me, that I couldn’t see.

I feel like my eyes have just opened.

This journey has been one of enlightenment. 

One of finding a way to channel the emotions that I’ve been experiencing. The thoughts that I’ve been thinking.

A way to vent.

I am but one man looking for a way to express myself. A way to process everything. If it helps another then it’s a blessing. If someone reads and realizes they’re not alone, or it opens their minds to other possibilities…then it was worth it

Let us begin.